My ex-boyfriend still has feelings for me! What do I do?

HeTexted

This post is part of a series of questions I answered during my time at HeTexted. Hundreds of girls asked me relationship advice, and I responded.

First is the girl’s question, and then my advice.

On April 2nd, a girl on HeTexted wrote me and asked…

Dear Chris, Me and my ex were talking this last week and he admitted he still had feelings for me and he missed me.

Then he texted me, “For a little bit the feelings did come back, but we both are just not good for each other we are different people” What does, “not being good for each other mean?” Do I stay or do I go?

My advice…

You go. Sorry to say. He’s not interested anymore. I’d have to guess that you are younger (like less 23), because I think that at some point after a handful of breakups this stuff will make more sense.

Each of us….we are made up of 2 people

I am: how I THINK and how I FEEL.

It sounds like he’s rationally processed that he THINK you’re hot a good match. For example, maybe there is a pattern of fighting? Or he found someone else? Or he has some other insecurities we don’t know about? Etc etc… who knows. Basically, he’s decided.

He could still FEEL something for you. He might like the feeling of kissing your lips, or just having you around in the same room (obviously!). But he’s working hard to move away. And he (and you) may cave at certain points. And I think that’s ok (I mean, it happens).

I remember after a bad breakup… by EX and I would Skype video….(wait for it) while we were sleeping. We decided rationally we were bad for each other, but physically our bodies wanted to be in the same room. Or something. I can’t explain it. ‘

Sometimes music does a good job of sharing perspective. There’s a great Cat Power song that might reflect how he feels. (read the lyrics too if you like).

I’m sorry again for your loss. Eat some ice cream, talk to your girlfriends, cry it out… and try your best to move on. I hope this helps!

(A warm friendly hug)
-Chris

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